ajw876

howdoiputthisgently:

I’M LIKE:

BUT WHEN I SAY YOLO:

howdoiputthisgently:

WHEN I’VE SLEPT 8 HOURS:

WHEN I’VE SLEPT 4 HOURS:

howdoiputthisgently:

I’M LIKE:

Maury lulz. 

(Source: holymaurymotherofgod)

this just puts the biggest smile on my face. Madonna eat your heart out!! 

(Source: rufusisnodufus)

Graduated High School. Kissed someone. Smoked a cigarette. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. Collected something really stupid. Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing.Watched four movies in one night. Gone for long periods of time with out sleep. Lied to someone. Snorted cocaine. Failed a class. Dealt drugs. Taken a college level course. Been in a car accident. Been in a tornado. Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid). Watched someone die. Been to a funeral. Burned yourself. Ran a marathon. Spent over $200 in one day. Flown on a plane. Had your virginity taken. Taken someone’s virginity. Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Written a 10 page letter. Gone skiing. Been sailing. Cut yourself (like a paper cut #JUSTTOBECLEAR).Had a best friend. Lost someone you loved. Been to jail. Dangerously close to being in jail. Had detention. Skipped school. Got in trouble for something you didn’t do. Stolen books from the library. Gone to a different country. Dropped out of school. Been in a mental hospital. Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.Had an online diary. Fired a gun. Gambled in a casino. Had a yard sale. Had a lemonade stand. Actually made money at the lemonade stand. Been in a school play. Been fired from a job. Taken a lie detector test. Swam with dolphins. Gone to sea world. Voted for someone on a reality TV show. Written poetry. Read more than 20 books a year. Gone to Europe. Loved someone you shouldn’t have. Wondered about your sexuality. Used a coloring book over age 12. Had surgery. Had stitches. Taken a taxi. Seen the Washington Monument.Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once. Overdosed. Had a drug or alcohol problem. Been in a fist fight. Suffered any form of abuse. Had a hamster. Petted a wild animal.Used a credit card. Gone surfing in California. Did “spirit day” at school. Dyed your hair. Got a tattoo. Had something pierced. Got straight A’s. Been on the Honor Roll. Known someone with HIV or AIDS. Taken pictures with a webcam. Started a fire. Gotten caught having a party while parents were gone away.

Today’s WTF: Female Body Building. 

“Why is my phone so hot in my pocket?” 

Oh, it’s because I forgot to lock it and it’s been running this whole time.

Damages done: 

• Battery Power severely depleted
• TTY turned on
• Cellular Data turned on 
• My wallpaper was changed 

How all this happened is beyond my realm of understanding, especially since most of the setting changes are in different menus. 

My phone has a mind of its own; this I am sure. 

I think it’s psychologically proven that when you want or are associated with something, you just so happen to see it everywhere, regardless of it being a trend or not. Not sure of the scientific term but we Jamaicans have a term called “red eye”, and it sorta works for us. Example, Your aunt buys a new car, and you see the same car everywhere. I’ve been wanting to go to the beach for a long time and everyone has been posting beach pictures just to annoy me. I want a fun boyfriend and everyone is getting married. I need to get in shape, and there are skinny women prancing all up in my face. I mean, the personal things are definitely things that I can achieve, but in my own time. I hate people’s progressive lives being up in my grill.

One exception to this “red eye” phenomenon came to realisation today: Young pregnant women. They. Are. Everywhere. Is there something in the water? Or maybe in the air? I have noticed that a lot of girls that I’ve somewhat associated with through prep and high school are with child. I can say with strong conviction that I am in no way interested in having children now. So why am I noticing them? It must be a trend!? Here I introduce to you my new theory: Girls are dumb when they allow boys to not wear a condom. I know, I know - Scientific breakthrough! Fact - Their personal lives and decisions have no impact on mine whatsoever; I mean we only met that one drunken time when you were hooking up at Quad, I mean, I didn’t expect much from you. I shouldn’t judge though, I’ve definitely had my moments. So I’ve come to the conclusion that there really is a pregnancy bug going around and it’s more contagious than that Friday song.

Being of sound mind, I pledge that until this disease going around has been cleared up, I will not be putting myself in any compromising positions. (icwudt) Because, what’s happening is more than just an accident between two young people, it’s an wide spread epidemic, it cannot be stopped, I want to not be any part of it.

So as I enter my Pregnancy Bomb Shelter, you’re probably thinking that I’m not serious, well I expected that; and in expecting that you wouldn’t expect that from me, I created this Tumblr post.